by Clifford James | Oct 21, 2023
“Writing books is the closest men ever come to childbearing.” (Norman Mailer). I’m assuming that he is referring to pain. I’ve heard kidney stones were just as painful as childbirth , but thankfully, I’ve never suffered from either. I...
by Clifford James | Oct 21, 2023
Colons and Semicolons: This is probably not PC in this day of divisiveness, but here goes anyway: “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show...
by Clifford James | Oct 19, 2023
“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” (Noel Coward). This bit of sarcasm reminds me of the saying: “why don’t you take a long walk off a short pier?” I was curious as to the origin of this, so naturally, I...
by Clifford James | Oct 18, 2023
“I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” (Chandler on Friends). I spent years in my profession listening to people whine and complain. I offered advice when asked, but mostly just listened and was empathetic. Some people ask me...
by Clifford James | Oct 17, 2023
“Back in my day, people used to take photos with other people in them.” (Anonymous) Selfies are the highest form of narcissism. Besides, it’s said that photos add ten pounds. Do you really want to send out pictures of yourself weighing ten pounds...
by Clifford James | Oct 16, 2023
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” (Oscar Wilde). This is affirmation that I do have an imagination as I live beyond my means. It’s your fault. Most of you haven’t bought my book yet and obviously don’t care...
by Clifford James | Oct 15, 2023
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” (Dave Barry). Writing is challenging. There are days when I could sit and write all day. Other...
by Clifford James | Oct 14, 2023
“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’” (Anonymous) If you have problems falling asleep, consider changing professions and becoming a sheep herder. After all,...
by Clifford James | Oct 13, 2023
During this attack by Hamas on Israel, there is consternation and dissent on Facebook about God and why, if he exists, would He allow this to happen. One post in particular struck me. It was by a woman who declared that she believed in science and evolution. She went...
by Clifford James | Oct 12, 2023
“I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.” (Anonymous). Sometimes I am surprised by what I write, especially when it doesn’t go in the direction that I planned. I start with an outline, a...
