Writer’s Rant for 1/13/24
“Approximately 20% of the world’s population speaks English, with around 400 million people who speak it natively and an additional 1.5 billion who speak it as their second or foreign language.” English is not an easy language to learn. There are over 160 dialects in the US and the rest of the world. There are even differences in pronunciation as I cross from North Carolina to South Caroline. Case in point: there is Beaufort (NC) pronounced “Beu-fert” and Beaufort (SC) pronounced “Bow-fert”. However, many people attempt to learn English anyway. It’s small wonder that foreign learners make silly mistakes. When I finished my first novel RUNNING SHOES, my sister-in-law, a retired school teacher, volunteered to review the story as a whole (to see if it flowed and was easy to follow), and look for questionable vocabulary and punctuation. She was a valuable asset for my project as opposed to the editors who reviewed my book. My story contained some colloquial and conversational English and after it was “reviewed” by my editors, they attempted to “correct” my English. It became obvious to me, especially after trying to engage them in a conversation, that English was secondary to them. All their edits were for naught and I made them revert back to the original transcript. These were not “foreign” editors, mind you; they were located in Virginia Beach. On the lighter side, there are many faux pas in the usage of the English language to be found on-line. Just a few of them follow:
SIGN IN RESTROOM: “Please ‘satanize’ your hands here.” (As if dirty hands weren’t bad enough.)
WHAT SHE SAID: “He found me crying; he crew too; we both crode.” (for crying out loud!)
SIGN AT GATE: “Please pay your parking fee before ‘existing’.” ( It sounds like another IRS tax!)
MENU ITEM: How about a “Seizure Salad?” (No thanks. It gives me the shakes.)
WHAT SHE SAID: “He ‘frew’ the eggs.” (No thanks. I’ll take mine fried.)
BOX WARNING: “Keep Away From Incompetent People Such as Pregnant Women and Children” (What about incompetent box labelers?)
ROADSIDE SIGN: “Speed Thrills; ‘Butt’ Kills” (keep your eyes on the road dummy)
ROADSIDE SIGN: “Do Not Dumb Here. Not a Dumb area.” (This is a dumb sign)
SIGN ON BUILDING IN JAPAN: “Erection in Progress.” (What’s going on in this building? Or is this Japanese politics?)
NOTICE ON CONFERENCE ROOM DOOR: “This is a genital reminder. Please be on time.” (You will have to use your imagination on this one. I am at a loss for words…) 1/13/24